Imaginary animals

Mom: What are you working on, Beanie?

Bean (4): I'm writing you a note, asking for a tribble. But tribbles aren't real, so you'll read it and feel bad. And then you will have to buy me a guinea pig to make me feel better.

Mom: We aren't getting a guinea pig.

Bean: Oh. I'm keeping my note then.

Veggies

We were playing in the pool splashing water at each other when Bean starts junk talking.

Bean: Come on! You want a piece of beet?!

Me: Um.... No. I don't really like beets.

Bean: Ok... (Thinking)... Come on! You want a piece of tomato?! Mom, do we have any tomatoes?

Evidence of a Geek-Girl

You know your 4yo is a geek-girl when this scene comes up in Nightmare Before Christmas and she starts screaming, "Oh no! Don't blink, Jack! Don't blink!"

Curse words

We were in the car, on our way back from the lake. Millie was sleeping soundly and Bean was drawing pictures in her notebook. Bean began to struggle to get the cap off of a pen, when out of her sweet mouth I hear... "What the f**k?!"

"Bean!" I said, "What did you just say?"

"Heck", she answered. "I meant 'What the heck.'"

"Heck means the same as f**k," she went on to explain. "I'll just say 'heck' from now on."

"That's probably a good idea," I relied.

At least we reached a compromise.

On being helpful

We were at a music festival. A jazz band was doing their sound checks...

"One, two.... Check one two... Check one two three... Check one two"

When Bean stands up on her chair and yells, "Four! The next number is four!!!"

Ah... The joys of having a helpful four year old.

Different perspectives

Bean: Hey mom! Remember when I was really sick and had to stay in bed... and I had Lucky Charms and Coke... and throwed up over and over and over, like blah... blah... blah???

Me: Uh huh. I remember.

Bean: That was SO fun!!!! Think we can do that again soon? Huh???

New Lyrics

Bean was singing new verses to the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" before bed tonight. This was my favorite verse...

The Itsy Bitsy spider stayed in his web.
Down came the rain and washed the spider dead.
Then he became a zombie and said "Fliessssssss!"