Imaginary animals

Mom: What are you working on, Beanie?

Bean (4): I'm writing you a note, asking for a tribble. But tribbles aren't real, so you'll read it and feel bad. And then you will have to buy me a guinea pig to make me feel better.

Mom: We aren't getting a guinea pig.

Bean: Oh. I'm keeping my note then.

Veggies

We were playing in the pool splashing water at each other when Bean starts junk talking.

Bean: Come on! You want a piece of beet?!

Me: Um.... No. I don't really like beets.

Bean: Ok... (Thinking)... Come on! You want a piece of tomato?! Mom, do we have any tomatoes?

Evidence of a Geek-Girl

You know your 4yo is a geek-girl when this scene comes up in Nightmare Before Christmas and she starts screaming, "Oh no! Don't blink, Jack! Don't blink!"

Curse words

We were in the car, on our way back from the lake. Millie was sleeping soundly and Bean was drawing pictures in her notebook. Bean began to struggle to get the cap off of a pen, when out of her sweet mouth I hear... "What the f**k?!"

"Bean!" I said, "What did you just say?"

"Heck", she answered. "I meant 'What the heck.'"

"Heck means the same as f**k," she went on to explain. "I'll just say 'heck' from now on."

"That's probably a good idea," I relied.

At least we reached a compromise.

On being helpful

We were at a music festival. A jazz band was doing their sound checks...

"One, two.... Check one two... Check one two three... Check one two"

When Bean stands up on her chair and yells, "Four! The next number is four!!!"

Ah... The joys of having a helpful four year old.

Different perspectives

Bean: Hey mom! Remember when I was really sick and had to stay in bed... and I had Lucky Charms and Coke... and throwed up over and over and over, like blah... blah... blah???

Me: Uh huh. I remember.

Bean: That was SO fun!!!! Think we can do that again soon? Huh???

New Lyrics

Bean was singing new verses to the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" before bed tonight. This was my favorite verse...

The Itsy Bitsy spider stayed in his web.
Down came the rain and washed the spider dead.
Then he became a zombie and said "Fliessssssss!"

My teacher has worms

Bean: Mom, I'm really worried. My teacher has worms. I don't know if she will ever get rid of them. What do they call her worms, Mom?

Me: Ummm... I really don't know, Bean. You'll have to ask her tomorrow.

Bean: You don't know? What are the names of the worms that turn into butterflies?

Me: Oh, you mean caterpillars!!!!

Well, that sure was a relief!

Compassion

Big Foot is sick. I told Bean that he just needs batteries, but she is sure it is something much more serious. So Big Foot is lying in bed next to me on Millie's bed, while Bean is providing him with medical care, giving him shots with a pen. Millie is apparently working in food services, as she just crawled in, bringing him coffee and eggs from the Disney Princess kitchen. Bean says that Big Foot may die. I hope he at least makes it until lunch. I 'm told that we are having a birthday party for him after lunch. Bean tells me that Big Foot has never had a party before. She wants him to have one before he dies. She's kind of like the "Make a Wish" foundation for monsters. Bean tells me that I need to bring Big Foot a present. I wonder what kind of gift one is supposed to bring to the birthday party of a dying fictional monster???

At what age do they develop a filter?

Bean (4) to a woman at the grocery store: I LOVE your make up!

Woman (approximately 30): Awwwwe! That's so sweet! Thank you!

Bean: You look just like a scary clown! Scary clowns are my favorite!!!

Woman: (Quietly walks away with a shocked look)

What do you say in that moment???

Learning to Reason

Bean (4): Hey mom! Can we go to the beach tomorrow?

Mom: No honey. It's too cold for the beach.

Bean: How about the jungle? Jungles aren't cold.

Mom: The jungle is too far away.

Bean: How about the moon? The moon is REALLY far away. Can we go there?

Mom: It IS too far away. Maybe someday you could go though.

Bean: I guess the beach is looking better now, huh?

Santa knows

Mom: You'd better be good or Santa will know.

(Bean starts running around the restaurant.)

Mom: Bean, is what you are doing good or bad?

Bean: Bad, but Santa doesn't mind. He wants me to get exercise.

Older Brothers

Bean: This is my pet spider. (Pointing to the spider above her window). Him's name is Peter Parker. At night, he turns into Spider-Man and swings around my room on webs. Eric can't see him or he'd go "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhh!" and cry like a girl. Peter doesn't want to make Eric cry. I do though. It's fun to make Eric cry. Maybe I give him Peter's friend for Christmas.

The Power of Santa

Tonight, we are going to a tree lighting. Santa will be riding in on a fire truck and putting the star on the tree. Bean is REALLY excited about this. She keeps asking when we are going. I told her after lunch and a nap.

Bean: I don't want to take a nap!

Me: You have to. We will be out late and you get cranky.

Bean: I'm going to nap now! I need extra sleep. I don't want Santa to see me cranky!!!!!

It's only 10:30 AM, but I'm not arguing!

They are in cahoots!!!

Last night, I heard noise coming from the girls' room nearly 2 hours after they were supposed to be in bed. I look in and see Millie up in her crib playing with Bean's stuffed pony. Bean is hanging off the side of her bunk bed, shining a flashlight into Millie's crib so she could see to play. My heart melted. I didn't know whether to scold them or kiss them, so I did both. They are in cahoots already. Lol.

Making sure her baby sister is prepared.

Bean (3) has been enthralled with the fact that her 9 month old baby sister has started talking. Today in the car, she decided to work on Millie's vocabulary.

Bean: Say "momma", Millie! Come on, say it!

Millie: Mom mom mom

Bean: Ducky, Millie! Say "Ducky"!

Millie: Daddy!

Bean: No, duck. Duck!

Millie: Duck... Dadda duck.

Bean: Say "cat".

Millie: Aaaaack!

Bean: Ok, Ok! Say "zombie apacowips". Come on, say it! Zombie a-pa-co-wips!

Me: Bean, do you even know what a zombie apocalypse is????

Bean: Yes! It's when the whole world gets filled up with zombies and they go "uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh!". Now make her say it! Say it Millie! Zombie apocalypse!

Bean's "Spirited Away" Rewrite

Bean was reenacting her own version of the scene where Hoku has been injured.

Hoku: I'm bleeding. I think I dying.

Zen: I save you! I love you! You saved now.

Hoku: I love you too. But silly girl, I still bleeding to death.


So much for love curing everything.

Apparently I was misunderstood

Mom: Bean, you are driving me nuts!!!!

Bean: I am not. I like to draw zombies and rainbows, not nuts!

Zombie Bird

Bean: Momma, where's Oscar?

Me: He died a while ago, Honey.

Bean: We put him in the ground?

Me: Yep.

Bean: Can we dig him up???

Me: Errrrr.... No.

Bean: But we have to!

Me: No, we don't.

Bean: Yes, we do! Him might be a zombie now. If him is, I want him!

Me: I'm sure he isn't a zombie.

Bean: You looked?

Me: Uh... Yes! I checked.

Bean: Eewww! Mom! Why you do that?! Yuck!

On Death and Dying

"Swim good little fishie! Or Daddy will make you swim in the potty!"