Zebras are boring

The other kids were drawing zebras. Bean drew a zombie with boobs, standing next to a cup of water.

I asked her why. She told me, "Zebras are boring and water is important to drink in the summer."

I see many, many conversations with the school psychologist in our future.

Views on polygamy

Bean: I like boys, Momma! I REALLY love boys! Some day, I'm going to marry a whole bunch of them!

A Bear By Any Other Name...

Bean: Can I have my Kung-Fu Panda blanket?

Me: You don't have a Kung-Fu Panda blanket.

Bean: Yes, I do! There!

Me: That's Winnie the Pooh.

Bean: No, it's not. Winnie the Pooh is for babies. I renamed him "Kung-Fu Panda"!

How the Sith Army Is Created

Bean was playing with a Darth Maul Pez dispenser in the car this morning.

Darth Maul:

I poop babies!

(Bean makes a fart noise and pops out a Pez)

See! There's one!

(She makes another fart noise and then pops out another Pez)

There's another one! If you don't watch, I'll poop out a whole Sith army!

A Morning Chat

Our morning conversation on the way to daycare...

Bean: Oh! Hi Mom! Whatchoo doing here?

Me: What do you mean 'What am I doing here'? I'm driving you to school.

Bean: Oh! Ok!

Me: Hey Bean! Whatchoo doing here?

Bean: There is no Bean. There is only Zul.


I guess she saw Ghostbusters.

She's Three

Me: Bean! Go to bed and stop whining!!!!

Bean: Ok mom. I'm quiet, mom. See! I quiet. I quiet, mom. I quiet now. Hey mom! I quiet! See! I good. I quiet.
(repeat loop for 20 minutes)

Me: Bean! Quit talking! Talking is not "quiet" or "sleeping"! Go to bed.

Bean: I quiet though!

Me: Show me by "doing". No more talking!

Bean: How you know that I quiet unless I tell you??? You silly mom!! I'm quiet, mom. See! I quiet. I quiet, mom. I quiet now. Hey mom! I quiet! See! I good. I quiet.

Me: Sigh!!!!!

New Lyrics

Bean was singing "The Wheels on the Bus" this morning. At first, I was singing along... until I noticed that I didn't know her version.

It went...

The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town.

(Ok. Seems normal so far!)

The people on the bus go up and down. Up and down. Up and down. The people on the bus go up and down all through the town.

(Ok. Still normal. Then...)

The zombies on the bus go BRAINS! BRAINS! BRAINS! The zombies on the bus go BRAINS all through the town.

(Yeah, it gets worse.)

The zombies in the bus eat the people on the bus. Eat the people on the bus. Eat the people on the bus. The zombies on the bus eat the people on the bus all through the town.

(Ummm. It's not quite how we sang it when I was a kid!)