On Death and Dying

"Swim good little fishie! Or Daddy will make you swim in the potty!"

Zebras are boring

The other kids were drawing zebras. Bean drew a zombie with boobs, standing next to a cup of water.

I asked her why. She told me, "Zebras are boring and water is important to drink in the summer."

I see many, many conversations with the school psychologist in our future.

Views on polygamy

Bean: I like boys, Momma! I REALLY love boys! Some day, I'm going to marry a whole bunch of them!

A Bear By Any Other Name...

Bean: Can I have my Kung-Fu Panda blanket?

Me: You don't have a Kung-Fu Panda blanket.

Bean: Yes, I do! There!

Me: That's Winnie the Pooh.

Bean: No, it's not. Winnie the Pooh is for babies. I renamed him "Kung-Fu Panda"!

How the Sith Army Is Created

Bean was playing with a Darth Maul Pez dispenser in the car this morning.

Darth Maul:

I poop babies!

(Bean makes a fart noise and pops out a Pez)

See! There's one!

(She makes another fart noise and then pops out another Pez)

There's another one! If you don't watch, I'll poop out a whole Sith army!

A Morning Chat

Our morning conversation on the way to daycare...

Bean: Oh! Hi Mom! Whatchoo doing here?

Me: What do you mean 'What am I doing here'? I'm driving you to school.

Bean: Oh! Ok!

Me: Hey Bean! Whatchoo doing here?

Bean: There is no Bean. There is only Zul.


I guess she saw Ghostbusters.

She's Three

Me: Bean! Go to bed and stop whining!!!!

Bean: Ok mom. I'm quiet, mom. See! I quiet. I quiet, mom. I quiet now. Hey mom! I quiet! See! I good. I quiet.
(repeat loop for 20 minutes)

Me: Bean! Quit talking! Talking is not "quiet" or "sleeping"! Go to bed.

Bean: I quiet though!

Me: Show me by "doing". No more talking!

Bean: How you know that I quiet unless I tell you??? You silly mom!! I'm quiet, mom. See! I quiet. I quiet, mom. I quiet now. Hey mom! I quiet! See! I good. I quiet.

Me: Sigh!!!!!