Friday, March 30, 2012


Bean has a fascination with boobs. She is more into boobs than the average teenage boy. It's a bit disturbing.

I was listening to her play in her room before bed tonight. This was the conversation had between a Jasmine figure, a Barbie doll, and a rubber alligator.

Jasmine: I have boobies, just like my mommy.

Barbie: I have boobies too!

Rubber alligator to Barbie: Your boobies are amazing!!!!! Can I touch them?

Barbie: No, they my boobies. Only I touch them. Get your own boobies.

Alligator: Ok. I get my own boobies when I eat you. Num... Num... Num...

Well, at least she is developing boundaries.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

On Alligators

Bean: Mom, where do alligators come from???

Me: Eggs laid by mommy alligators.

Bean: Eggs?!?!?!

Me: Yes, like you know how Maggie (our cockatiel) lays eggs? Like that.

Bean: Maggie has baby alligators?!?!?! That's awesome!!!!! Can I keep them?

Me: Bean, Maggie isn't an alligator.

Bean: Well, she should be!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Views on Salad

Bean: Look mom! Pasquale is happy!

Pasquale is Bean's bearded dragon. We got him as a compromise at a reptile show back in September. What Bean REALLY wanted was a 20' boa constrictor. She laid on the floor of the convention hall and sobbed when she learned that we would not be bringing one home. We eventually got her to settle for Pasquale. He eats crickets and veggies. I can handle that.

Me: Pasquale is happy? Why do you think he's happy?

Bean: He's happy cause Daddy gives him salad. He bought it for him.

Me: We have more salad. Should mommy put some in your lunch?

Bean: Mom!!!!!! You KNOW I'm not a lizard!!!! You crazy mom!

I guess I need to push the veggies a bit more. :-/

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I sign it myself!!!

We are at Monster Mania in Cherry Hill NJ. We were waiting in line to get the autograph of Chandler (who plays Carl in the Walking Dead). Bean sees the different actors signing autographs and the independence streak of a 3 year old kicked in.

Bean: Don't want him to do it! I'll sign it myself.

Me: That's not the way autographs work. You pay to have the person sign it.

Bean: No! I sign it myself!!!!

We hear a chuckle from off to the side. Tom Towles is looking at Bean, smiling and shaking his head. For those who don't know horror movies, Tom starred in The Devil's Rejects, Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer, and the 2007 version of Halloween.

Tom: You want to sign it yourself?

Bean: Yes! I sign it myself!

Tom: Well, that's something I'd like to see. Come over here and sign my autograph for me.

Bean bounced and jumped over to Tom's table and crawled behind it. Tom got out an 8x10 glossy and a marker... and Bean went to work drawing a series of "i"s across the forehead.

Tom: Hey, that's pretty good! It looks like I've got blood dripping from my head. (laughing)

He handed Bean the pic and she proudly put it in Daddy's backpack.

Bean: See! I signed it myself!

Today is Monster Mania

She's been up since 5:00. She was too excited to sleep.

Friday, March 9, 2012

What if Dad is not a zombie?!?!

This weekend is Monster Mania, a horror movie convention. Bean has had an informal countdown going for months now. Judge if you must. Yes, I am taking a 3 year old to a horror convention. It is definitely not for me. I hate conventions... and I don't like horror movies any more than any other type of movie. But it is important to Bean, so we are going. Lots of big name actors and make up artists will be there, including the cast from The Walking Dead. Bean will be in hog heaven.

This morning Bean wakes up, chattering away about Monster Mania.

Bean: I am going to wear my purple fairy dress.

Me: That's fine. I'll pack it.

Bean: And zombie make up... and wings.

Me: Uh huh.

Bean: Are you wearing zombie make up, mom???

Me: Maybe. We'll see.

Bean: What about Dad? Is he gonna be a zombie?

Me: I don't think so, Bean. Dad doesn't really like zombie make up.

Bean: But he has to!!!!

Me: Why? He can be something else.

Bean: If he's not a zombie, I'll have to eat him. He's too big! I don't wanna eat him, Mom!!!! Make him be a zombie!

We will see if Dad gets onboard with the zombie thing

Thursday, March 8, 2012

There can be only one!

Yesterday morning, I was in a hurry, so I dumped some Lucky Charms into a Baggie and loaded the girls into the car. Bean quickly began rifling through the cereal, searching for marshmallows.

"Oooo.... a star! Oooo... A clover!". This went on for a few minutes until...

"Mom! A rainbow one! There's a rainbow one!".

You would have thought the kid found real gold at the end of that rainbow! She was so excited, until....

"Another rainbow one????"

Bean eyed up the marshmallows, one in each tiny hand, squinting at them, trying to determine if they were indeed the same.

Next I heard a deep, growling voice from the back seat, "There can be only one!".

Then the sword fighting noises began. They continued for a few minutes until only one poor rainbow was left standing. Bean licked it and proudly stuck it to the back of the passenger seat. There it remained until all of the other marshmallows were gone. I suppose it was waiting to see if it needed to go to battle once more. Luckily, the rainbows ones aren't as common as the other marshmallows.

Authors note: If you didn't really understand this blog, go onto Netflix and rent yourself "Highlander". You have been deprived. Bean has seen about 20 minutes of it when it was on TV and it apparently has made a huge impact.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Meet Bean

This is Bean.

Bean is a silly, happy three year old.  She loves horses and princesses.  She also loves Star Wars, Marvel superheroes, Dr Who, and Nerf dart guns.  She loves her baby sister more than anything else in the world... except maybe zombies.  Yep!  You read it right... zombies.  Where most kids can't stand to be scared, Bean thrives on it.  

This past Christmas, she asked Santa for a face-hugger alien, a zombie ("a real one from the graveyard", she told him),  and spiders.  Santa was a little shell-shocked and we were thankful that the picture was taken BEFORE he asked for her Christmas wishes. 

Here are some pics from last Halloween that illustrate the point...

Bean has been fascinated with zombies since she was about 14 months old.  We have no clue where she gets it.  Her Dad loves all thinks geeky (comic books, Star Trek, Star Wars, the Big Bang theory, Dr Who, superheroes, D&D, etc).  That part explains why bean is constantly carrying around a foam sword or a light saber (red for Darth Vadar, of course).  It also explains why she sleeps with a bed filled with dragons. The zombie fascination though... we have no clue about that.  

We try not to stifle Bean's creativity and support her interests.  It does get a bit strange around her at times though.  A few nights ago, Bean was playing with a Rapunzel doll, a Darth Maul action figure, and a pink "My Little Pony".  Darth Maul and Rapunzel instantly became involved in a romantic relationship (apparently Rapunzel likes the bad boys!).  It sounded something like this... "I Darf Maul.  Lord of the Siff!"  "Oh!  You cute!  Kiss me!" (insert kissing noises here)  Ok... a bit advanced for a 3 year old, but not too bad.  Then it all got even more strange when Rapunzel turned into a zombie and ate the flesh of the "My Little Pony" while Darth Maul egged her on by cheering, "Get her!  Get her!"

I frequently post about Bean's antics and quote "Beanisms" on Facebook.  Many people have asked for a "Bean Blog", so here is my attempt.  Enjoy a glimpse into the world of my strange, wonderful little girl.