Imaginary animals

Mom: What are you working on, Beanie?

Bean (4): I'm writing you a note, asking for a tribble. But tribbles aren't real, so you'll read it and feel bad. And then you will have to buy me a guinea pig to make me feel better.

Mom: We aren't getting a guinea pig.

Bean: Oh. I'm keeping my note then.

Veggies

We were playing in the pool splashing water at each other when Bean starts junk talking.

Bean: Come on! You want a piece of beet?!

Me: Um.... No. I don't really like beets.

Bean: Ok... (Thinking)... Come on! You want a piece of tomato?! Mom, do we have any tomatoes?

Evidence of a Geek-Girl

You know your 4yo is a geek-girl when this scene comes up in Nightmare Before Christmas and she starts screaming, "Oh no! Don't blink, Jack! Don't blink!"

Curse words

We were in the car, on our way back from the lake. Millie was sleeping soundly and Bean was drawing pictures in her notebook. Bean began to struggle to get the cap off of a pen, when out of her sweet mouth I hear... "What the f**k?!"

"Bean!" I said, "What did you just say?"

"Heck", she answered. "I meant 'What the heck.'"

"Heck means the same as f**k," she went on to explain. "I'll just say 'heck' from now on."

"That's probably a good idea," I relied.

At least we reached a compromise.

On being helpful

We were at a music festival. A jazz band was doing their sound checks...

"One, two.... Check one two... Check one two three... Check one two"

When Bean stands up on her chair and yells, "Four! The next number is four!!!"

Ah... The joys of having a helpful four year old.

Different perspectives

Bean: Hey mom! Remember when I was really sick and had to stay in bed... and I had Lucky Charms and Coke... and throwed up over and over and over, like blah... blah... blah???

Me: Uh huh. I remember.

Bean: That was SO fun!!!! Think we can do that again soon? Huh???

New Lyrics

Bean was singing new verses to the "Itsy Bitsy Spider" before bed tonight. This was my favorite verse...

The Itsy Bitsy spider stayed in his web.
Down came the rain and washed the spider dead.
Then he became a zombie and said "Fliessssssss!"

My teacher has worms

Bean: Mom, I'm really worried. My teacher has worms. I don't know if she will ever get rid of them. What do they call her worms, Mom?

Me: Ummm... I really don't know, Bean. You'll have to ask her tomorrow.

Bean: You don't know? What are the names of the worms that turn into butterflies?

Me: Oh, you mean caterpillars!!!!

Well, that sure was a relief!

Compassion

Big Foot is sick. I told Bean that he just needs batteries, but she is sure it is something much more serious. So Big Foot is lying in bed next to me on Millie's bed, while Bean is providing him with medical care, giving him shots with a pen. Millie is apparently working in food services, as she just crawled in, bringing him coffee and eggs from the Disney Princess kitchen. Bean says that Big Foot may die. I hope he at least makes it until lunch. I 'm told that we are having a birthday party for him after lunch. Bean tells me that Big Foot has never had a party before. She wants him to have one before he dies. She's kind of like the "Make a Wish" foundation for monsters. Bean tells me that I need to bring Big Foot a present. I wonder what kind of gift one is supposed to bring to the birthday party of a dying fictional monster???

At what age do they develop a filter?

Bean (4) to a woman at the grocery store: I LOVE your make up!

Woman (approximately 30): Awwwwe! That's so sweet! Thank you!

Bean: You look just like a scary clown! Scary clowns are my favorite!!!

Woman: (Quietly walks away with a shocked look)

What do you say in that moment???

Learning to Reason

Bean (4): Hey mom! Can we go to the beach tomorrow?

Mom: No honey. It's too cold for the beach.

Bean: How about the jungle? Jungles aren't cold.

Mom: The jungle is too far away.

Bean: How about the moon? The moon is REALLY far away. Can we go there?

Mom: It IS too far away. Maybe someday you could go though.

Bean: I guess the beach is looking better now, huh?