Monday, May 28, 2012

She's Three

Me: Bean! Go to bed and stop whining!!!!

Bean: Ok mom. I'm quiet, mom. See! I quiet. I quiet, mom. I quiet now. Hey mom! I quiet! See! I good. I quiet.
(repeat loop for 20 minutes)

Me: Bean! Quit talking! Talking is not "quiet" or "sleeping"! Go to bed.

Bean: I quiet though!

Me: Show me by "doing". No more talking!

Bean: How you know that I quiet unless I tell you??? You silly mom!! I'm quiet, mom. See! I quiet. I quiet, mom. I quiet now. Hey mom! I quiet! See! I good. I quiet.

Me: Sigh!!!!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

New Lyrics

Bean was singing "The Wheels on the Bus" this morning. At first, I was singing along... until I noticed that I didn't know her version.

It went...

The wheels on the bus go round and round. Round and round. Round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town.

(Ok. Seems normal so far!)

The people on the bus go up and down. Up and down. Up and down. The people on the bus go up and down all through the town.

(Ok. Still normal. Then...)

The zombies on the bus go BRAINS! BRAINS! BRAINS! The zombies on the bus go BRAINS all through the town.

(Yeah, it gets worse.)

The zombies in the bus eat the people on the bus. Eat the people on the bus. Eat the people on the bus. The zombies on the bus eat the people on the bus all through the town.

(Ummm. It's not quite how we sang it when I was a kid!)

Friday, May 18, 2012

Her Taste in Men

The cable repair guy came to fix our phone line on Thursday. He was about 25 years old, and Dominican. Bean was absolutely enthralled with him.

Bean: What his name???

Me: I think he said it was "Andy".

Bean: He my friend. I'm going to go find him.

Me: No, Bean let him alone. He's working.

Bean: But Mom!!!! He's beautiful!!!! Can him come live in my room.

She was sad to find out that he couldn't come live with us. When he left, she cried for a good 5 minutes. I guess she has a thing for handsome, dark skinned men.

Affiliation

Bean: You are too little, Millie. Some day, when you are bigger, we will buy you onion rings and coke slushees; and you will become one of us!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Boys Are Babies

We were at an amusement park. Waiting in line in front of us was a group of boys, ages 10-13.

Bean looks at them, shakes her head, and says, "All boys are babies. They cry 'Wah! Wah!'. Like that!"

We get on the ride and Bean immediately runs to the last seat. The boys end up in the seat in front of us.

Soon the ride is in full swing and our stomachs are in our throats. The boys start shrieking and screaming, "Oh my god! We are going to die!"

Bean looks over at me, points at them, and says, "See! Babies. I told you!"

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Samta Claus

Me: Mommy has to clean because people are coming over.

Bean: Who coming over?

Me: Well, Tony, Ronnie, Eric, Chris, and Sam.

Bean: Sam???

Me: Yep. Sam. Remember her? She was the pretty girl with the brown hair at our football party.

Bean: I remember. I will call her Samta Claus.

Me: No, not Santa Claus. Sam.

Bean: I know. I just calls her that. Samta Claus.

Me: I don't think she wants you to call her "Samta Claus". How about you just call her "Sam"???

Bean: Samta Claus is better name than Poopy butt.

Me: Yes, it is. But we just call her "Sam"?

Bean: Ok, but that boring.